So in my opening blog I mentioned how I had undergone a transformation of sorts – I’d made a decision to make healthier choices with regards to my eating and started a regime of regular workouts. That’s still the case. I haven’t fallen off the wagon. However, I am still very much human, and sometimes that means I need to indulge.
Cue the Caribbean take away.
Yeh. I did it.
So ok, this was not the healthiest of meals, but it also wasn’t the worst. It’s all about balance. This is a once in a while thing and I’m picky with what I get off the menu and how much of it I eat. I deliberately chose vegetarian options and I tried not to go too carby. Well, sorta.
Callaloo – a leafy green similar to spinach, also known as taro leaves (at least this version of callaloo is taro leaf – in other parts of the Caribbean different leaves are used, but also called callaloo).
Sweetcorn salad – a simple mix of sweetcorn and chopped lettuce with a vinegary dressing.
Channa – curried chickpeas.
Buss up shot – a paratha flatbread that’s been torn up – this is the ‘naughty’ part of the meal. I ate the whole thing. Yes I did. (There was more of it than what you see on the plate and I feel no shame).
So as you can see, most of my choices were relatively healthy and low in fat and carbs. But the buss up shot. For as long as I can remember, I’ve had an unnatural obsession with flour. White flour in particular. I don’t know. Rotis, bakes, cakes, bread, pasta etc… it’s just life to me you know? But obviously, since my diagnosis regarding my blood sugar levels about 7 months ago, all that has had to stop. And I miss it so. More than miss. I yearn. With all my being.
For the most part, I’ve actually been quite impressed with my level of discipline, but maybe once a month or once every two months I allow myself the luxury of having something gorgeously floury and full of clarified butter (ghee) – usually in the form of a roti or a paratha or something. I just can’t cut it completely out – and that’s ok.
One thing I’ve learned on this journey is how to recalibrate my relationship with food. Before my relationship with eating was a pretty destructive one. I had no restraint and I didn’t really care.
It’s been a slow but steady process. To use the cliche, my default mode would be to eat my emotions – and that’s just not good. I’m still working on finding other ways to deal that don’t involve eating, because my physical well-being has to be a priority now. I don’t think I’m completely in the place I need to be when it comes to my eating habits and how certain choices make me feel, but I’m in a much better position than where I used to be. So yay for progress.
Now time for another sunlit shot of gorgeousness: